Sorry if I'm one of those people

You know those people who mistakenly think their kids are beautiful? Not the ones who have actual cute kids, but the unfortunate bunch who gush about their human-hyena hybrids as though they could win any beauty contest hands down, when in reality, the mere sight of the child too early in the morning is enough to startle you wide awake. Don't get me wrong, I think all children are cute in that "your head's too big for your body thus I will overlook any major aesthetic definciencies" kind of way. But you've all seen those kids that I'm talking about; those that look as though they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. And yet, wonderfully, their parents seem not to notice as they call out to you to come take a gander at the newest milestone little Junior has reached. You steel yourself not to flinch as you peek over the edge of the blanket and marvel that all parents have installed in their hard drive an ability to love even the most fearsome of offspring. My parents are prime examples of this, as I myself can lay claim to having lived through a set of teeth that belong on a California Raisin, and ears that could double as sonar equipment. And yet, they never let on that I looked like a giant fruit bat because they loved me. So excuse me if you don't agree, but I happen to think that my children are great not only in that giant-head-teeny-tiny-body kind of way, but that they are beautiful.