The Parkers: July 2006

Sandy Beach

My family has been going to Long Island to visit my Grandma each summer for as long as I can remember. She lives in a fantastic, tiny, old house right on the water on a dead end street. Each year we cram as many people into the house as is humanly possible, and get to know each other a little too well. A LOT too well. We sleep on beds, couches, cots, the floor, tents in the sand, you name it. Lots of my aunts and uncles and cousins (and their dogs, cats, fleas, whatever) come and we eat, sing theme songs to obnoxious cartoons, get giant splinters from the board walk, eat, play Mafia, swim, catch and fry bizarre sea creatures for dinner, turn the soles of our feet black from walking barefoot on the road all week, and eat. My uncle Bruce is an amazing cook and we start stalking him about 30 minutes before each meal time, hoping he'll take pity on us and feed us. This year he made suvlaki, which are like gyros, and we downed those babies like sharks at a fish fiesta! Speaking of sharks, we (my mom) caught one of those too.

Almost everyone got stung by a jellyfish, two of us got to visit the emergency room, I removed splinters from 5 different people, Chase got sunburned to a crisp, Jake gained 6 pounds, Claire gave strep throat to at least 2 other people, and Lucy cried when we sang "Happy Birthday". Great fun. No, really!

Miles was always on the floor looking for the weiner dog. He was more than happy to pick up whatever food my family may have dropped and dispose of it in his giant trash can, I mean mouth.

For some reason, I lost my mind for about 20 minutes and agreed to let my cousin, Rocko, take Tate out on the jet ski. Tate told us it was great, but Rocko said he was screaming, "Not so fast!" the whole time.

Reid felt left out since he didn't have a tattoo so Jake gave him a lovely cartoon on his chest. Just what every girl dreams of. . . a man with Pikachoo over his heart.

We got sick of Miles eating all the nasty gunk off the floor so we picked him up, but he weighs 8 or 9 tons so we had to take turns. Then we had to take Advil for back pain. seriously.

We let Lucy open some birthday presents there. She enjoyed that much more than our singing.

Tate begged constantly to be allowed to go on the dock in the back. He and Randy spent a good 4 hours a day there trying to catch fish in the bait trap.

All in all, it was a lot of fun, but very hard work. We're exhausted!

Lucy Luau

Scary baby!

Our baby gate broke! The only thing keeping Miles away from the stairs is now gone and everytime I turn around he's on them!

Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease

Miles is sick. He has Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease. The poor little stinker has fever blisters all over his mouth and down his throat, he's got a rotten fever, and he has blisters covering his hands, feet, and diaper area. He hasn't eaten anything more than a few bites or sips since Sunday morning, and I fear he might slip down to the 97th percentile! He's pretty miserable, so we're ALL pretty miserable.

On the dock

"Out on the Dock" is what all little children aspire to at Grandma's house. If you're big enough or trustworthy enough, you can go out on the dock alone. Tate's working especially hard in swimming lessons so he can go with cousins and uncles. Lucy was granted this for maybe 3 minutes. Only for the pictures.

Books on tape

Books on tape have saved my life. I love to hear my children's voices, but every once in a while I need some quiet. Well, not even quiet, just no one talking directly to me. I started throwing books on tape into a canvas bag and keeping it in the back seat. Tate will pick one, I pop in the tape, and he turns pages for Lucy to see. I have a guaranteed 5 minutes of brain rest each time. It's lovely, really.

Something's fishy about Miles

That kid just loves the water! We try and go to the beach 3 or 4 times a week and he just can't get enough of it. There's a huge sand bar and when the tide goes out, there's about 20 minutes of 3-4 inch deep water everywhere. These pictures look a little scary, but don't worry Mom, he's perfectly safe.

Shark boy and Not For a Million Dollars Girl

Tate's taking swimming lessons this year to refresh his memory before we go swimming with cousins at Grandma's beach. What a change from Miss Kelly's lessons in Texas. I'm a bit frustrated with the whole thing, but there are no other options here since I don't have a pool or 1000 dollars for lessons. He loves them but I have been unable to convince Lucy to try it. She heads straight for the top of the bleachers and hangs out there until I give the all-clear to leave.

Tate says, "Hi Nate!"

Lucillina the Ballerina

We had a dance class for playgroup last week! A children's dance teacher who just moved into our ward came and taught a wonderful class about superheroes and their "powers" to all the kids. Lucy was in hog heaven and has talked about it ever since. Corrine, the girl who taught, said Lucy needs to take some classes. I've been looking for something to distract Lucy from the impending daily departure of her favorite playmate (tate) this fall and I think this is just the thing.

Sorry the pictures are lousy.

"Tag Sale" is snooty for "Yard sale"

We had a "Tag Sale" on Saturday. Not a yard sale, mind you, a TAG sale. Yard sales are for those people who store spare auto parts in the yard (sorry dad, but it's tacky), shoot critters who wander onto their property, and marry their cousins. Those people try and sell half eaten sandwiches and used underwear to their neighbors. We are ever so much more refined here and only the very finest crap can grace the tables of our yard, I mean tag sales.
We did it to make more space in our house, get to know our neighbors better(my neighbor and I organized a neighborhood tag sale involving about 20 houses), and teach our kids about earning money. Tate and Lucy set up a lemonade stand and sold overpriced lemonade and chocolate chip cookies. I then dressed all three kids up in matching outfits to benefit from the cute factor and plopped them at the front of the yard for the whole morning.

Jake asked if I felt like maybe I was exploiting the kids and I replied, "Heck, yeah!" We might as well get something out of them while we can, before they reach that funny looking stage where no one would buy anything from them. I explained to the kids that the longer they sat out there, the more money they'd make. Lucy didn't care much, so she tested out all the toys being sold by our next door neighbor

and pre-licked all the cookies to make sure no one got a bad one. She also took time for a little shmoozing with the customers.

Tate, my Mr. Moneybags, sat all day out there and earned 40 bucks! He even had his best friend stop by and help him.

They both kept an eye out for potential customers and called out to those who looked thirsty enough that maybe they could be persuaded to part with a dollar or two for a warm cup of yellow sugar water and a previously tasted cookie.

He worked very hard.

Miles didn't do much but he's cute, so we'll keep him anyway.

The whole thing was a big success. I couldn't convince anyone that Princess Diana and Prince Charles actually sat in these two bean bag chairs, but I did unload them for a dollar each.

We had a great time with our neighbors, we have lots more room in our house, and the kids are anxiously awating the trip to the toy store to spend their moola.

Around and around and around!

If I ever did anything terrible like stealing a lollipop from a store, there would be no need to throw me in jail. The authorities could simply force me to ride a carousel and that would be punishment enough. Even the thought of riding one makes me a little seasick. We took Tate and Lucy to the merry-go-round by the ocean and they absolutely loved it. Kids must just not be that smart. They obviously don't know the futility of riding around and around and around on a fiberglass horse who couldn't care less when you kick it and yell "giddyup!" My kids fall into that not-so-genius group that likes that sort of thing. I chose to hide like a giant pansy in the car with Miles. Let someone else twirl around in circles on a big smelly, germ riddled, noisy hamster wheel. Not me, I'm too smart for that.

Grandma's house

We went and spent 4th of July weekend with my Grandma at her beach house on Long Island. She's preparing for the big family reunion at the end of July and we went to give her a hand and have her to ourselves for a few days before the crazy begins. We even got to take Grandma out to "Crabby Jerry's" restaraunt for lunch on the water.
Lucy (who thinks Grandma is the greatest thing since peanut butter) talked nonstop to Grandma the entire time. Poor Grandma, she must need a break.

Miles is climbing everything now, so he wasn't all that fun but everyone else had a great time. His favorite spot was the giant step from the hall into the front porch.