Brothers and sisters

I was almost 10 years old before I got a sister.

I didn't know anything different than playing with 3 little brothers. We made mud pits, played kickball and hide-n-go-seek, slid down the stairs in sleeping bags, had pretend wars in our awesome playhouse, built by my dad (thanks Dad), climbed trees, did flips off the basement couch where Mom couldn't see us (sorry Mom), and went swimming all day long at the pool down the street.

I loved playing with my brothers.

Sure, I'd try to convince my mom to play dollies or Barbies with me. That never went over well because, face it, Moms are no good at Barbies. So, I gave up most of the girl stuff and played in the mud some more.

By the time my little sister was old enough to run around with the bigger kids, I was a teenager and off doing obnoxious teenagery things. When I got married, she was only 12. She was still no fun. (Sorry Claire) It's only lately that I've been able to have "fun" with her and get along like sisters should.

I haven't ever really wished for anything different.

Until I see things like this:



or this:



My boys "play" together. Don't get me wrong, they include Lucy a lot. She wrestles with them, plays games, builds forts, makes up plays, and is generally loud and obnoxious right along with them.

But she couldn't care less about video games, "guys", or comic books. I often find Miles and Tate (and lately Calvin) squirreled away in a corner of the house somewhere doing brother stuff.



Lucy doesn't want to do what they're doing, she just wants somebody to do her stuff with her. I'm the default dolly dresser upper or Barbie player, but remember, moms are no good at this stuff. She absolutely delights in going to her best friend, Ellie's, house to play with "girly" stuff and comes home every time glowing.

She needs another girl.

I know she'll be almost 7 when this baby comes, but hopefully they'll be able to find something they can giggle about together. I might even catch them squirreled away in a corner someday, dressing dollies or drawing fancy dresses.

Hurry up, Penelope, your sister needs you.

Driving me bonkers!

I realize the above picture us blurry. Do you know why it's blurry? Calvin's pulling on the strap to my camera. He does this a lot.

And holds onto my pant legs while I cook.

And rips the book from my hands while I read to the other kids on the couch.

And tears pictures from the fridge.

And uses his teeth to pull the erasers out of every single mechanical pencil in the house.

And takes the spoons out of the drawer, licks them, and then throws them in the trash.

And gets a hold of the onions and peels off the outer layers.

And eats Kleenex.

And goes fishing in the potty any chance he gets.

And wakes up 47 times every night, screams his head off, and wakes up the other kids because they share a room.

He's making me crazy.

Seriously, I love him so much I want to just eat him, but by the end of the day, the kids are not the only ones who shout, "Daddy's home! Yay!!"

Jake gets the honor of feeding him during dinner, just so I can sit more than 2 feet away from this little terrorist for 20 minutes.

And then, as Jake heads down to the basement to work for the evening, I take back the baby and say, "Hello, Naughty."

"Who, me?"

Why haven't I put up more pictures?

Well, first we had a nasty cold.

Then, three boys got pneumonia.



Then, sadly, we got a pretty contagious case of the crazies.



I wasn't sure at first...



but no, we did not escape it.



This may be the worst case I've seen yet.



I think it has something to do with being trapped inside the house for the last 3 months.

Quote of the Day

While watching an episode of animated Batman, in which several female super heroes are fighting with "bad guys."
Lucy - "Man! Supergirl is having to do all the work. Kind of like me!"

Pit of Despair

My friend had a baby yesterday. She wasn't due for another 10 days, and she happens to live down the street, so I got to go hang out with her 2 year old for a couple of early morning hours until the real babysitter arrived.

As I left the house, I gave very clear directions to my people, "Get all ready for school and then pick up the downstairs."

I had a lovely time with my little friend, sitting on the couch watching Blue's Clues, playing dress up, coloring a picture for her soon-to-be new sister, and trying to get her to eat breakfast.

The house was sparkling from top to bottom. The fridge was well stocked and organized. The dresser drawers were neat. There was a mat on the little kid table to protect it from crayons. The beds were made. There were kid "things" around the house like toys, books, boots, but they all had a place and the house wasn't "dirty". It was just as a home should be.

The babysitter showed up, I said good-bye, and drove the 30 seconds to my house. I was still feeling perked up by the lovely time I had with the little munchkin, when I walked into my home.

As the scene before me unfolded, I swear, I almost turned around and went back to my friend's.

With only 15 minutes until time-to-go, two out of five family members were dressed, piles and piles of winter clothing, crayons, dirty clothes, old baby bottles, dirty diapers, dishes, papers, food, and toys were everywhere, lunches weren't made, breakfast wasn't ready, Tate was ruining something of mine, no one's hair was combed, Lucy was coloring, Calvin was crying, and Miles was still running around in some extremely odoriferous pull-ups. There was old food on the floor, mixed with whatever Jake had given Calvin to chew on. The kids were munching on handfuls of cold cereal as they walked around the house, fighting.

Tears sprang to my eyes at the stark contrast and I imagined, horrified, what someone else would see if they had to rush over here to watch my kids, should I go into labor early.

I may not have been the most cheerful mom as I kicked everyone out yesterday, but I spent the entire day transforming my space. I filled many trash bags with anything that sparked my wrath (don't tell Jake and the kids). I scraped crud off the cabinets, baseboards, dresser tops, and any other surface in my way. I washed every article of clothing I found. I dusted, washed mirrors and windows, disinfected bathroom, trash cans, door knobs, light switches and handles. I threw out half the contents of my fridge. I stripped sheets from beds. I scrubbed every floor on my hands and kness.

What I did not do -

shower, play with anyone, answer the phone, feed Miles and Calvin anything other than cereal, put clothes on them, or sit down.

Once the kids got home, (yes, I did go to the school in all my non-showered, cleaning all day, angry glory) I still wasn't the nicest mommy. When they were lazy and threw something on the floor, I invented 2 chores for them to make up for it. When they didn't put something away in the correct place, I made them help me organize a drawer. When they were disgusting at dinner, I excused them and made them do all the dishes.

I am done.

We will be those people no more!

I realize Patricia only has one kid, I realize this space is too small for us, and yes, I realize we have no dishwasher, but I refuse to live in a pit any longer.

Just don't look under the couch.

Me, Batman, and the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man

Ever wonder how you pick up kids from school in below-freezing weather?

Easy.

You just need a superhero and a big marshmallow.



Truly, whoever invented this suit is my hero!

Scavenger!

Bottom-feeder, scavenger, whatever you want to call it.



Who says there are no perks to being the smallest?

The big people leave really good stuff lying around!

What to do after so many days stuck in the house?

Still sick here. Three boys with pneumonia, two have ear infections, and Lucy's still working on her cold.

Since all this hit right at the end of Christmas break, we've had what feels like 193 days home in a row.

What to do to fight the boredom?

Set up all the "guys" of course!



(And once again, to whoever brought their sick kids to church and shared the germs, thanks. Hope your two hours of alone time were worth it while Jr. was in Primary, spewing saliva in every direction.)

At least he apologizes well...

So, I thought I was the only one lucky enough to be on the receiving end of Jake's occasional "foot in mouth".

Not so.

Last Sunday, he passed this to my 39 1/2 week pregnant friend, who happened to have his phone:



About 10 seconds later, he realized what he had done, but it was too late. The comparison had been drawn.

She handed this back to him:



Well, she was obviously kidding, and they remained friends, but just to make sure he was forgiven, he did this watercolor for her:



I delivered it to her hospital room two days ago, and I think he is finally in the clear.

If only I had a pretty piece of artwork for all of his slip-ups towards me!

(like the time he compared me to a clip on youtube of a mommy elephant giving birth)

Nocturnal

You wanna know why I have stretchy pants on, dark circles under my eyes, and a ponytail?

Two nights in a row of this:



Actually, this was two nights ago. Last night was worse because they all had fevers and were a lot less jolly.

New Year's Resolutions

#1 - Remember birthdays of extended family (I'm BAD at this!)

#2 - Teach my kids how to do things for themselves instead of just doing it for them.




Miley dried the dishes today.



Nothing broke,



it only took 20 seconds to show him how,



he feels like a "big boy" now.